Saturday, October 13, 2012

My Visit "Home Home"

Of course this post is pretty late...what can I say, I write when inspiration and motivation meet for me...and unfortunately usually that's late.  I'm a procrastinator.  It's part of my charm.  Anyhoot, so I call Hawaii home because it is my home, and I'm blessed to be able to call it that.  But, my family are my roots, so home home, as I like to call it, will always be wherever my family is, hence the title of this post.

My visit home was...in one word...beautiful.  I can't say enough how great it was to see my family...both, those related my blood, and those related by love.  I started my visit by driving myself home from the airport.  Gotta love my cousin who pops out the car, hugs me, tells me she loves me, and asks if I want to drive!  haha  After some deliberation, I decided to change my plans and surprise my sister-in-law (sister-in-law to be at the time) by going to her bachelorette party.  So, after dropping my cousin off, driving home, kissing the guys at my house, eating and fumbling around in my closet for something to wear, I managed to look presentable after over 12 hours of flying time, and little to no sleep.   And my beautiful mom and I were off.  Considering my sister-in-law's reaction to seeing me in her living room was, "what the fuck are you doing here!!", I think it's safe to say I pulled off the mission of surprising her, and the fact that my presence made her, and my brother happy, was the perfect start to my visit.



The following day I was off to see my LS and my beautiful niece.  The three hour drive was worth every second of it.  And as an added bonus, my LB, another beautiful friend turned family, was able to come by too.  I hadn't seen her in so long, and the fact that she took time out to see me made my heart smile.  Catching up with them was awesome.  And, seeing my niece made my day.  She is getting so big, and every moment I have with her I cherish.



Back to my parents house I went the next day, but I bought with me one of my favorite people in the world.  Unfortunately I don't have a pic of us for this visit, but it's not needed.  The visit was perfect.  I love when after so long you're able to introduce someone important to you to the most important people in your life, your family.  That's what I was able to do, and the introduction was as easy and natural as I knew it would be.  He now not only has me as his family, but my entire family, and that's beautiful.  Not to mention, he got to have some delicious food at our family gathering...including this awesometastic cake my cousin-in-law made!  It was so good, I had her make me another one before I left.  Ah, the benefits of living so far! 

The rest of the week went by in a flash.  Unfortunately the weather changed some of my plans, but that's ok.  I fully believe things happen how they're supposed to.  I did manage to get to Philly to see three beautiful people, and have one DElicious adult milkshake.  My friends taking time to see me is means more to me than I can tell them.  Things change...so much has changed, but I wanted to make sure they knew I still loved them just the same, and hopefully I managed that.





The rest of my time home home was spent with my family, doing things for the wedding, and then, finally, the wedding day itself.  A beautiful occasion that deserves its own post.

It feels weird not to know when the next time I'll be visiting is.  Since moving, I knew I'd be home in September for the wedding...and now...it's just kind of a, "I'll see you guys soon" type thing.  I so appreciate every minute I have with my loved ones...and, it needs to be said, ALL the food I ate!  I may not know when exactly I'll be seeing my family again, but I know that it'll be soon, and until then, I carry them with me daily....all of them, crammed tightly into my heart.

Here's hoping next year I'll be able to bring my parents out to visit :)

And the adventure continues...

Stay tuned...

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Changes

It's two days before my brother's wedding, and as I sit in my room, in the house we grew up in together... where we both lived for over 22 years of our lives... I can't help but to feel a mix of emotions.  I can't put into words how it feels to be a little sister to a big brother.  I can't say how it feels to be a sister to a sister, or a sister to more than one sibling, or a sister to a little brother...unfortunately circumstances kept my brother and I from growing up with our sister, so all I've ever known is being a little sister, to a big brother who I adore.  All I know is the two of us, and to know that it'll never just be the two of us again is a difficult thing to make peace with.  My feelings have nothing to do with his wife-to-be, because of course it would've been difficult for me regardless who he married.  Change is the only constant in life, but it isn't always easy to accept.  There's so many memories I can list right now...from how we would fist fight as kids, to how we would play on our swings together, and later ride bikes together, and later still, skate together, which turned into playing street hockey.  From wanting to always hang with him and his friends, to how amazed and proud I always was to watch him play baseball, to how I could always count on him to be at my softball games cheering me on.  From him seeing me off to my high school dances, to helping him deal with a broken heart.  From high school graduations, to college graduations.  From always getting last minute calls asking me to look up or order something online that should've been purchased way before, to getting our parents gifts together, and always having to be the one that wrapped everything.  My memories are endless.  After 27 years of being half of our team of 4, it's difficult to let a piece of our relationship go, and make room for a new one...not a worse one, just a different one.

The only thing that has helped me make peace with this change is his happiness.  As long as he's happy, I will, as always, have his back.


Two days from now I won't be losing family...I'll be gaining it.


Friday, September 14, 2012

3 Peaks Hike


So, while I was away for work training, Jas, and one of our buddies, Ben, went on this hike that I had been wanting to go on.  It's generally called Olomana Trail, although only the first peak is actually called Olomana.  Jas and Ben went to the top of Olomana, but didn't continue on to peaks 2 and 3.  After I got back Ben and I had spoken several times about doing all three peaks.  One weekend it was semi-planned with another of our co-workers, and plans changed.  So, last Saturday, after having dinner together at the guys house, Ben was dropping Jas and I off at home, and we were just talking, ya know, a regular Saturday.  He asked what we were doing the following day and I responded that I had no plans.  He said he was thinking about going for a hike, the 3 peaks, if we were interested.  Jas had been saying since I got home that she wouldn't go back for the other two peaks, so she said no.  Ben has the tendency of going on hikes by himself, so after I yelled at him for almost going alone again, I immediately said yes, and over the course of the next 10 minutes or so, we had planned what time we would be meeting, that I would cook us breakfast, and he would pick up some lunch meats so we could pack a lunch to eat at the top of Olomana.  And just like that, a potentially ordinary Sunday turned into anything but!

I made us a good breakfast Sunday Morning (pancakes and bacon), so we'd have enough fuel to get us through for a while, and we were off.  After about a half hour we were parking.  From where we have to park, to the entrance of the hike, is about a 1/4 mile walk.  The entrance to the hike is actually located on the property of this golf course, but luckily they allow the public in.  So we passed the gate attendant, who said, "you've been up there before right?" to Ben, and we were on our way.  In the beginning, this is what I looked like:

bright eyed and bushy tailed

The beginning of the hike wasn't bad.  Ben and I talked as we went along, saying hello to people we passed along the way.  One of the awesome things about hiking here, is that everyone says hi as they pass.  Many stop along the way and share some insights on the hike, or ask you for some if your on the way out.  It's just a very friendly atmosphere which I greatly appreciate.  Right after we parked, another truck pulled up behind us with a group of 3 in it...two guys and one girl, and they were pretty much close behind us most of the way up to the top of Olomana, or peak 1.  As we went along, some places got much more narrow, and we stopped from time to time to let people through who were on their way down, or out of the trail.  There were portions towards the end of peak 1, where you're putting out much more effort.  Some rock climbing, and a couple parts where there is rope attached to help you climb.  I must say, I knew about the ropes beforehand (as I mentioned in the previous post, I always read up on where I'm going), and I knew that the rope was put there by hiking clubs to help people out, and I probably will never know those people...but I thank them!  I thank them so much!  The last bit of peak 1 was pretty much a vertical rock climb.  I made friends with the ropes early, so I used the rope here, and I didn't think it was too bad.  As funny as it sounds, I've always been a climber, since I was little...ropes, trees, monkey bars...I guess I was preparing myself for my adult climbs!  Anyhoot, I would test out the ropes before I started climbing, to make sure they felt sturdy under my weight.  I know Ben didn't use the ropes as much as me.  He didn't always trust them.  Of course Ben is over twice my size.  I understand why some people don't trust the ropes much...it's a personal preference.  But I will say, after completing all 3 peaks, I have the utmost respect for anyone who completed all 3 without using the ropes at all!  I couldn't have done it.  Rock climbing up is a bit better...but down...it would have been very difficult for me to finish without the ropes.  But I digress....where was I?

Oh, so after the last vertical climb, we were at the top of Olomana, and the views were out of this world.  Just breathtaking.  We stayed up there a while, and ate a bit, and talked with a bunch of people, including the group of 3 that had been behind us most the way.  No one there seemed to be planning to go onto peaks 2 and 3 but Ben and I.  I was hoping someone would, because we had no idea where we were going!  I looked at Ben and told him stopping was not an option, that we had set out to do 3 and that's what we were doing.  Ben agreed, and said the only way he wouldn't is if he completely froze somewhere.  "psht" I said, "the only way I'm stopping is if I physically can't go anymore, and you'd have to call a chopper for me!"  Ben was quick to say, "I do not want to call mama and papa and tell them I let their baby girl get hurt!"  So we agreed...we would finish, and no one would get hurt.  Done!  A group of 3 guys got up to the top not long after us and they looked like they might be going on, so we asked.  They weren't sure, but kind of wanted to complete all 3 peaks.  Then, lucky for us, a group came from the other side, from peaks 2 and 3.  They told us a little about what to expect.  They asked if we had gloves.  'Gloves!' I thought, as I mentally smacked myself on the forehead.  Of course we should've bought gloves.  The one woman said we'd be ok without them, but that we might end up with a bunch of blisters if we were holding on to the ropes for dear life..."not like I was holding onto the ropes for dear life or anything" she said.  "No, I was definitely holding on for dear life!" she laughed, and we laughed, and I thought, this is going to be interesting.  

Olomana







view from the top of peak 1, & view of the coming peak 2 & 3


The group of 3 behind us said they were thinking about doing all 3 but weren't sure.  So, Ben and I set off.  It didn't seem so bad at first.  We got to the top of peak 2, or Paku'i, pretty fast.  We were happy to see that the group of 3 decided to keep going, and we stopped on the top of Paku'i to chat with them a bit, and then we were off again.  2 down, 1 to go.  

left: where we came from, right: where we're going



Getting down peak 2 was much more difficult then getting up it.  It's when I really started to realize what we had gotten ourselves into.  There was a portion on the way down that was just gravel.  You couldn't really get your bearings and we were constantly slipping.  We couldn't walk it, and there was pretty much nothing around to hold on to.  Trees and roots in this area were scarce.  I pretty much spent that entire portion sitting back and walking on my feet and hands.  I think Ben spent a lot of this time on his butt, which was evident at the end of the hike when his butt was just covered in dirt!  Eventually, we finally made it down 2, but we still had to climb up 3, which looked like it was simply not going to be anything close to easy.  Somewhere between peaks 2 and 3 we ran across two guys that were on their way out, coming from 3.  They talked to us for a bit... and here's the wisdom they imparted on us in a nutshell "there's this part you have to climb around this rock, and there's literally nothing to your side, and the whole time I was thinking, this is the stupidest thing I've ever done!"  Just what we needed to hear!  We told the guys to learn how to lie to people!  And moved on.   

I'm not sure I can even put into words what it was like going from peak 2 to peak 3.  I should mention since I've failed to thus far...that I had only completed two hikes before this one.  And both those hikes were beginners, so I was in no way preparing myself for this hike.  I was pretty much a beginner, attempting what I've read described as a "high danger/advanced level" hike.  As difficult as it was at times, both Ben and I were doing pretty well, I thought.  We were taking each challenge one by one..taking our time...being smart.  There were many times that we simply weren't in each others field of view, and I made sure that I would call out to Ben every few minutes to let him know I was ok, and to make sure he was.  Our buddies, the group of 3, helped us out with this.  From time to time we would be close enough to each other, that they could see Ben when I couldn't (I was leading), and they would let me know he was ok.  The female even called out to us that she was glad we were going first!  haha  It was at this point that I realized something.  One of the guys kept calling out my name.  I thought, 'maybe he heard Ben calling my name'.  But then I realized he wasn't looking at me.  So I called out and asked what the girls name was...and lo and behold, it was Jackie also.  What are the odds that this group we somehow became hiking buddies with for the day, would have a female by the same name as me.  God has a funny sense of humor, and an awesome way of throwing in little surprises to your life.  But again, I digress.  Where was I?

So, we're moving right along.  And then, it happened.  We got to the point where there was this odd shaped rock that you had to sort of climb down and around to continue climbing up.  There was a rope there to assist you, but this was just such an odd angle.  Oh, and the catch was, there was nothing to your right, but a very long fall.  As I mentioned, I was leading, so I was about to attempt it first.  There was just nothing comforting about this, and I asked Ben to just not talk for a minute.  I got down to the initial ledge, held on to the rope, and tried to find my next footing.  But there was just no easy way to go about it, and I had my first real moment where I realized, 'one false move and I could actually die here'.  I nearly froze.  It felt like I was on that ledge forever.  But, in my head I kept telling myself, 'Jak, there is no way your quitting.  It is not an option...besides, you told Ben he couldn't!'.  So, I got myself together, figured it out, and finally, made it around.  The rest of the way up to the top of peak 3, or Ahiki, was far from easy.  But after that, I didn't have another moment that jarring again...at least not on the way up.

Since I was leading, I got up to the top of Ahiki first, and I have to say, I've never been so happy to see a little box.  At the top of Ahiki, waiting for us, was a geocache.  I didn't really know much about these things before, but I learned that geocaching is basically a outdoor treasure hunt.  Players search for geocaches, or these containers, hidden at locations all around the world, using gps devices.  In the geocaches are log books, and people sign their name and then write about their experience on the game website.  That's a very basic explanation...there is more to it, but you get the idea.  Anyhoot, at the top of Ahiki was basically a tupperware container, and written on it were the words "Congrats you made it!"  and in that moment, I felt like nothing in the world would've made me happier than that little box did.  Inside was the log book, along with a bunch of other things, including pens of course, pictures, business cards...even a condom.  Ben and I signed the log book...though I think we forgot to put the date, and didn't take a pic of our page.  Ah well, not going back just for that!  Not long after we got to the top, the group of 3 got up there.  We chatted a while, and took pics for each other, and just sat there and enjoyed the view.  We learned that each of us had had at least one moment like mine.  For Jackie and I it was the same part I mentioned.  For Ben and one of the guys, Frog, it was another part.  The part almost just before the top of Ahiki.  A pretty serious rock climb, where you can't see the end from where you're starting.  You really can't plan out what you're going to do because you can't see, you just have to go for it.


my moment.  it's hard to tell from the pic how nerve-racking this part actually was

whoever wrote these words...thank you!  "hike on!"

my day was made

After a while, the fact that we had to climb down, up, down, up, and down again...back the same way we had come in, to get back to the car, was weighing heavily on our shoulders.  Ben and I decided it was as good a time as any to get going.  We bid adieu to these awesome people who had made our day even better, and started to make our way...figuring we'd eventually see them again on the way.  We saw them pretty quickly.  The way down was just as difficult as we remembered the way up was, so we all took the beginning very slow.  We got to the part where Ben and Frog had had their moment, and Ben went first.  I remembered this part wasn't so bad for me going up...but down was a completely different story.  I was taking it slow, holding on to the rope and looking for my next footing, not being able to see where the rope ended.  I reached my foot for the next footing, and quickly realized I couldn't reach it.  I slipped, and was literally holding on just by the rope.  As I slipped by body slammed against the rock.  Luckily I had already been pretty pressed against it, so the slam wasn't to bad, though it did cut my hand a bit...I had been so close to finishing with no blood loss!  Again, I was humbled by how little control I had, and how quickly things could go bad.  I slipped once more, but held onto that rope for dear life.  I heard Ben make a sound at the bottom, and Jackie at the top telling me "you got it".  I finally made it to the bottom of the portion, but there was no time to appreciate the moment...there was way too much to be done.  We met up with our buddies again a little further up in a clearing where Ben and I had stopped off for a drink of water.  Jackie kept going, telling us she had to keep going or it would be more difficult for her, which I found ironic, because that's exactly how I was, though I tried to modify that in myself since I know not everyone is like that, and I wasn't hiking alone.  As the guys were on their way to catch up with Jackie they mentioned that Jackie had recently one a title, Ms. Fitness Hawaii or something like that, and that's why they let her go first.  Ben and I had no idea, and we thought that was pretty awesome.  We made sure to congratulate her the next time we met up with them.

The remainder of the way out was grueling.  Our bodies were exhausted.  By the time we had gotten up to the top of Ahiki we were all physically shaking, including Jackie and the guys, who were all in very good shape.  Our bodies were just so tired that we couldn't control the shaking.  On one part of the climb up peak 2, or maybe 1 (it all runs together now) Ben commented on how much my legs were shaking.  I could feel it, but I couldn't stop it.  It's hard to say though, whether finishing the hike was more physically, or more mentally grueling.  Our bodies can do some pretty amazing things, but you have to will it too.  Mentally, I had to keep telling myself to keep going, that we were almost there...even when I knew we weren't.  It was like it wouldn't end!!



We saw a good amount of people on our way out.  We stopped and talked to a few guys who were planning to go to peak 3, which we thought was crazy because it was getting later in the day.  Oh, and I made sure to yell at Ben several times during the day about him almost doing this hike alone.  And he made sure to tell me several times during the day, that he was glad I had come with him.

At the top of Olomana we stopped, I drank my last bit of water, and we talked about our first stop once we got in the car.  A store...for water!  And then I had the best idea I've probably ever had in my life...gatorade!!!  I could taste it.  And just the thought of it revived Ben.  Finally I could see the pavement of the golf course road!  I knew we still had a 1/4 of a mile walk to the car, but I was so happy to see that pavement.  My legs though, didn't really know how to react to the flat surface.  Ben and I had both been walking like we were 2, and just learning how to walk, for quite some time.  My legs buckled several times, and when we finally got to the car it hurt like hell to get in it.  At the gas station I bought water, gatorade, and a neapolitan ice cream sandwich...and I swear nothing in my life has ever tasted better!  We were filthy, exhausted, and beat up...but it was the best kind of pain...and it was all...every minute of it...was worth it.  


And the adventure continues...

Stay tuned...


Maunawili falls & Lanikai Beach

So while my buddy's brother was down in the beginning of the month, we decided to go for a hike.  Our destination was Maunawili Falls, and later, Lanikai Beach.  I was excited for the hike since it had been forever that I did one...and I was looking forward to the cliff jump at end into the waterfall.  The night before, as I usually do, I looked up where we were going online, and read some yelp reviews.  Maybe I shouldn't read so much...because I learned that at this particular spot, and several others in HI, people had gotten sick from a bacteria in the water.  Now, I should mention, I'm not completely insane, I know that more of this kinds of stuff happen then I realize...and probably at many places I've been to, or often go, but reading about it brought it to the forefront of my mind.  I suppose sometimes ignorance is bliss!  So, after my reading, I decided I'd see how the hike went, and how the water looked when we got to the end-- a go with my instincts kind of thing.

The hike was ok, nothing too challenging.  Watching the brothers run amuck brought some entertainment to it.  There were a few stops where you got a couple nice views...I mean, it's Hawaii, every view is pretty much beautiful.  And then, pretty quickly, we were at the falls.  There were a ton of rocks leading up to it, and it reminded me of my visit to HI with my family last year.  We went on The Road to Hana tour in Maui, and towards the end you stop off at the Seven Pools, and there were rocks you had to go through to get to the water that were similar to this.  Anyway, we got through the rocks, and I found a pretty descent size one to cop a squat on and watch some people in the water.  I'm usually not one to pass up the chance to do anything remotely dangerous...so it was kind of a bummer not to jump from the cliff with the brothers, but, I just wasn't feeling the way the water looked.  In Maui, at the Seven Pools, the water was pretty clear, but here the water was much more murky.   I'm sure no one in the water that day got sick, and I'm ok with that.  I learned some time ago to just listen to my gut.   Then we made our way back through the hike, and to the car...and over to Teddy's Bigger Burger for some much needed food!

This was my first time at Teddy's Bigger Burger..and I have to say, I was underwhelmed.  It wasn't bad, I suppose I just expected more.  I'm not a big burger person to begin with, but then, they fail to put my bacon on my burger, which I would have just dealt with...but then I saw that they had charged me extra for the bacon, and it sure wasn't a couple cents!  So I went back up and showed them my receipt.  They were very nice about it of course.  But, even with my couple pieces of bacon (which were a little sorry looking) the burger was just ok.  I suppose no burger has stolen my heart like the one at Five Guys!  My dreamsicle float was pretty good though!

After food, Jas and I changed into our swim suits in the bathroom of Starbucks...hey, ya gotta do what ya gotta do!  And we were off to the beach.  Lanikai (which means heavenly sea) is known to be one of the most beautiful beaches in the world, so I had been looking forward to finally getting there.  And I will say, this place didn't disappoint.  It is absolutely gorgeous.  And pretty perfect for a good game of waboba.  If you haven't heard of a waboba ball before, no worries...I hadn't either.  It's basically a ball, almost the size of a tennis ball, that's made to play catch in the water, because it bounces pretty awesomely off of it.  After a rousing game of waboba, and a bit of relaxing we decided it was time to head home, after a pretty awesome, busy day!


the brothers and I

Me & the non siblings

Brotherly love

Beautiful Lanikai

The guys


And the adventure continues...

Stay tuned...

Sunday, August 26, 2012

How well is too well...

Taking a break from my normal updating, I felt the urge to write about something that I've thought of many times before, but that has come to my attention even more since being out here (maybe it's the ocean, or the clouds, or just the beauty that surrounds you here that makes you think more clearly, and more intently).  How well does a person have to know you, for them to know you too well?  Or is there even such a thing as someone knowing you too well?

I'm not a person that many people know...or at least not really know.  I am acquainted with a lot of people, sure.  Some may even think they know me far better than they actually do.  But in reality, those people don't know much more than what's on the surface.  And let's be honest, most people wear several different masks, and show you only what they want you to see.  Knowing someone on the surface isn't knowing them at all.  I freely admit I'm someone who wears a few different masks.  I think it's pretty necessary.  At work I am the professional, business me.  With good friends I am a more vulnerable, true me.  With family I'm still the vulnerable me, and sometimes still the child me...still a very true me...it's just that sometimes I hear myself revert back to the young me when I'm talking to family...maybe that's a normal thing.  But mostly, I'm a guarded me.  Mostly people see only a glimpse of me.  I'm not vulnerable, emotional, or open with most people.  I try to appear tough most often than not, because that's how I've learned to function.

But there are a few people...very few...who know me more than most.  But I think it could be a double edge sword to have someone know you so well.  I mean, partly, it's a beautiful thing, to be able to communicate without words, sometimes without even looking at each other...to know what to say before you're even asked a question...to know how someone would feel about something, or someone, without them even being around.  But on the reverse side of that, sometimes we know people so well, that we see what we expect to see, even when the reality is much different.  Sometimes you know someone so well that you don't even think it's a possibility that they may have changed in some way...or that they're trying to change.  I guess it's kind of a self-fulfilling prophecy...you know them, you know what to expect, and so that's what you see...regardless what they show you.

I don't know what constitutes knowing someone "too well", but I do appreciate anyone thinking enough of me to know me at all.

Friday, August 24, 2012

Back to the island I go

After I got back on island after my work training, I still had a few weeks of on the job training.  From pretty much the beginning though, I was smacked hard in the face with the reality of my job.  Training never legitimately prepares you for the real realities of your job does it?  I mean I get it...it's training, they can only do so much.  But to say I've been overwhelmed is an understatement.  Feeling completely lost is not a feeling I often experience...nor is it one I particularly enjoy.  It's been sometime since I've had to be the new person...the person who knows nothing.  As if learning the job isn't enough, I'm also trying to learn my way around the island.  I pretty much never drove before I got the job...I walked or took the bus everywhere, so now that I have to drive, I never know where I'm going.  One plus though...my old job, I drove 70 miles one way to my office...and here, I drive 7.  Talk about a difference!  Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining.  I'm blessed to have a job.  I'm bless to be here, and to have come with nothing, and to already have so much.  It's just frustrating feeling like you're unsure of yourself...like it's going to take so long to feel confident.

At least Jas and I, and are new found buddies/my two co-workers/our sort of part time roomies, find time to paint the town.  It's nice to let some of the frustrations go.  And wherever Jas and I go, we make a party, so it's always a good time.  I'm trying to keep this balance of work and play.  Too often I dive so far into work that I end up drowning myself in it....but not here.  That's definitely not an option here.







And the adventure continues...

Stay tuned...

Thursday, August 23, 2012

I'm back

I am finally getting a chance to write again, after an unanticipated hiatus.  Work training went ok...but the highlight of my three weeks off island was being able to go home.  It was only for about 36 hours...but such an appreciated 36 hours.  Aside from seeing a good deal of my family, including my parents and brother of course, I got to see baby girl, aka my niece who I posted about before...and her parents of course.  It's amazing what just a weekend home can do to your spirits.  Being home has a way of rejuvenating you.


I adore this baby girl


laughing for titi


Going home gave me a feeling I never felt before.  The only time I've lived outside of our house was for college...so leaving was a completely odd, and new feeling.  It's only right that going back for the first time would also give me feelings I've been unfamiliar with thus far.  Walking into the house felt familiar, but strange, because for the first time, even though I'm coming home, I don't technically live there.  Little things had changed, and I wasn't around to see it happen.  Walking into my room, I felt a mix of emotions swell up inside me, and I had no idea which to deal with first.  My bed, my pictures, my books...27 years worth of me.  I feel like I've changed so much...being in that room was like the new me meeting the old.  One thing I can definitely say is that I remembered how much I missed my bed.  My beautiful bedroom set I bought only a few years ago.  But as much as I miss my house sometimes, and my things...they're just that...things.  Home is not the house, although there is a lifetime of memories folded into every nook and cranny of it.  For a girl who always sought to spread her wings, home is my parents, my family...they are my roots, forever keeping me grounded wherever I am, and wherever I end up in the vast world.

36 hours could never be enough...and yet it was everything I needed.

And the adventure continues...

Stay tuned...